humor

If Horse Blog Posts Had Clickbait Titles

I can’t be the only person who is wildly, irrationally annoyed by clickbait titles, right? You know, the ones that one aunt/cousin/high school friend posts every 20 minutes? I see one on Facebook and I want to throw things across the room. They’re just so obnoxiously sensationalist.

So I’ve been trying to fight internet idiocy with humor, and over the last few weeks have played a little game with myself, trying to come up with horse blog posts titles a la Buzzfeed (or Upworthy or any of the other nausea-inducing fake news websites out there, hi yes, I’m a snob).

Anyway.

Here are a few I’ve come up with.

She Thought She Had Packed Everything for Her Show – You’ll Never Believe What She Forgot!
They Took A Long Spot – What Happened Next Will Take Your Breath Away!
6 New Half Pad Trends You Have to See to Believe!
3 Simple Steps to the Perfect Topline – Overnight!
Only ’90s Kids Will Understand: Do You Remember These Trends in Breeches?
You Won’t Believe These Galloping Boots Until You See Them in Action
This Shocking New Hunter Derby Jump Changes Everything
5 Examples of Mismatched Tack That Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity
This Is The Most Important Photo of a Horse Standing In Its Field You’ll See All Day

That’s all I’ve got for now. Any more from you all?

jumping

Evening Ride

I have this problem: I keep making careful plans, and then I get in the car to drive to the barn, and it’s beautiful. Then I make the last turn, and I look down across the fields and the mountains and the light is just so and I pull up to the barn and I just physically can’t stand the idea of riding inside.

So we go outside, and we play in the fields, and I regret nothing. So maybe it’s not really a problem…

Yesterday: got up 3 hours early, worked 2 hours at the food coop for the member/worker program, did 9 hours at the day job, got home, did 2 loads of laundry, took the pup to the dog park, then settled her in with dinner and headed back out to the barn.

On a whim, I put Tristan in his jump saddle, because doing the everyday tack blog hop made me remember how much I love it. It’s just such a classy saddle.

The most majestic of donkeys.
It also provided a different kind of exercise for me, because its stirrups are set to jumping length (though not XC length) and I have been riding almost exclusively in my dressage saddle. Immediately a different feel.
We worked up and down the big gallop hill, mostly at the walk, but a bit of trot at the end. This horse, you guys. He hadn’t been worked in 5 days while I was visiting family, and last night I asked for a trot in an open field and he listened perfectly: strong into the bridle but took a half-halt from my core, moved out happily and cheerfully once he got the idea. There was a time asking for more than a walk would’ve resulted in a flat gallop and bucking fit.
We wandered a bit, and then I realized that there were pretty new jumps set up in the outdoor ring. And I was in my jumping saddle. And there were some straightforward crossrails set up on the diagonal.

So how was I supposed to resist that?

I asked for an easy trot, bridged the reins, and he practically stumbled over the first crossrail. He shook it off, and I didn’t want to end on that note, so we circled back around to the other crossrail. I asked for trot a little further out to get a good establishing forward rhythm – which was totally ruined when he realized we were jumping again and went WHOOOOOOOOO.

Or, as much as Tristan goes like that anymore. Basically he got strong in the bridle, a little more upright, and tried a few canter steps. It was a lovely jump, though, and I felt secure in my seat if a little overly defensive. So then of course we had to do them in succession, two on the diagonal.

I was just supposed to walk away from that?

Jump 3 was suuuuuuper strong and long, and I got way left behind and had much too strong a hold of his mouth, which he let me know in no uncertain terms was unappreciated. He landed nose down and crow-hopping, I yanked his head up and said oh hell no, and put him back together.

Jump 4 was perfect. Strong and smooth and nailed a lovely bouncy canter on the correct lead off the landing.

I called it a day on that, and we walked around the ring for a few more minutes, and he did not want to be done. He locked on to every jump we went buy and when I dropped the reins took me to the base of an oxer. I think he wants to jump again!

trailering

Hard Decisions: Selling My Trailer

I bought my truck and trailer in the spring of 2008. I had saved up money, and I was expecting to head off to grad school in the fall. Possibly anywhere in the whole country! I scoured Craigslist and all the classified ads I could find, and I found an older, serviceable truck and trailer that I loved. The idea was to put my own belongings in the truck, and Tristan’s in the trailer, and away we’d go! It didn’t happen quite like that.

I loved being a person with a rig, that tantalizing possibility. I loved having the extra storage space in my trailer.

Tristan in the background, Tucker in the foreground.

I’ll be honest: I hated driving it. Hitching up the trailer and then loading my horse in sent every single anxiety demon in my brain into coke-fueled overdrive.

I am a great hauler. I am cautious, steady, smart, and I can back that entire rig anywhere. I am prepared and experienced. But I still spent every trailer hauling drive white-knuckled and nauseated. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I am insanely jealous of people who just hitch up and go. It seems so free.

So I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with my rig. It was such an incredibly useful thing to own. Such freedom and so many interesting things were possible!

However, the combination of my life, my schedule, my finances, and my aversion to hauling all mean that I haul out only once or twice a year. I know there are lots of you who would go somewhere every weekend. I wish I were like you, but I have to accept that I’m not.

Last night, I brought up a tupperware of Tristan’s winter blankets for storage. I opened the door, looked in the trailer, tossed in the tupperware, and had a moment of blinding realization. It was time. After two or three years of hemming and hawing, I was ready. I felt it in my gut. I am desperately sad about it, but I also have no doubts at all.

So, I have sent out some emails this morning. Over the weekend it’ll go on Craigslist. It’s time. I’ll set aside the money I sell it for (I’m not looking for a lot anyway) as seed money for the future, and go back to hitching rides for the few times I head out.

If anyone is interested in buying it, email me at beljoeor[at]gmail[dot]com. I’ll deliver anywhere in New England and most of New York for no extra cost.
house post · laundry

House Post: Horse Laundry, or Living the Dream

Our house came with one washing machine: an older Kenmore, inefficient and top-load. It was a workhorse but could also die at any moment. There was a dryer hookup but no dryer.

We knew we would have to buy a washer and dryer, and had budgeted accordingly. A friend was buying a new washer and dryer – apartment-sized and a better fit for him – and sold us his barely used, HE washer & dryer for a fraction of the cost of new. Excellent!

Then I had a stroke of genius: could I double-plumb the washers?

So I started.

Things I had to do: replace the shut-off valves (the original 1920s copper valves had finally given up mid-install), bifurcate the drain pipe, bifurcate the intake valves, rewire the dryer plug, trim the new drain hose to size, and reconfigure the dryer vent hose.

Five hours and four trips to the local hardware store later, I had achieved laundry nirvana.

blog roundup

Weekly Blog Roundup

A few posts from the horse blogging world this week.

Growing up Sadie from The $900 Facebook Pony
I love this – well-illustrated and explained, the path of a baby horse.

Cushings/PPID Primer, Part 1 & Part 2 from Paradigm Farms Retirement
I’ve written a lot on this blog about my own learning process with Cushings, but this is a really good summary.

Jesus, Take the Wheel: Adventures in Learning to Trailer (Part 2) from A Work in Progress
This made me laugh and laugh. Trailering is not for the faint of heart!

Throwback Thursday: Learning to Jump from Hand Gallop
Awwwwwwwwww.

A Relaxing Trail Ride? You Be the Judge from Saddle Seeks Horse
Eeeeeeeep. Gorgeous photos, though!

dressage

Rainy Day Dressage Calisthenics

So granted, it’s not Texas-level, but Vermont just saw its rainiest June in over 100 years. Thankfully, my barn has an indoor – like most nicer barns in the northeast – or we would never ride, ever.

We’ve moved on from strict conditioning rides to dressage and strengthening rides. I am for 30-40 minutes each ride, which is about the limit of his muscle strength and mental tolerance right now. At the end of an intensive ride, he’s very body-tired but not terribly sweaty or winded.

Generally, things are going really, really well. We’ve had a couple of utter shit rides, but on the balance they’ve been pretty good.
Two days ago, we worked on stretching and coming up over his back and connecting his hind end by getting and staying forward through all three gaits. I got some really nice canter steps out of him. We’re in a weird place right now where small circles are actually easier for him, almost, because it’s less for him to think about when his body is sprawled all over the place. I’ve never been in this place before, but when I put him on a 15m circle he’s much more bouncy and together. 20m and he flails and trips and just can’t even.
Last night, it was all about the lateral work. I started him off in-hand, getting big steps over behind, then backing up, then stepping in the other direction. Under saddle, it was all about the leg yields while warming up, then turns on the hindquarters (blah) and forehand (much better). Those resulted in a horse with a better idea of where his shoulders and legs were, and we stepped up to small circles and teardrops at the trot, then shoulder-in and haunches-in. I tried to keep mixing it up, sometimes using a short diagonal to swap bend, sometimes zig-zagging in leg-yield, sometimes coming back to the wall after a circle and staying in haunches-in.

I’m not going to pretend any of it was show ring quality, but he felt terrific as he worked through it: rounder, deeper into the bit, more connected to my hands, gradually lighter and more able to be responsive to my aids.

Let’s pretend this is artistic and not just poor quality. Shine and great condition!

I’m really happy with both his progress and my own schedule right now. The only thing I wish I could add into the mix is more hillwork, but the rain has been so bad the fields are flooded.

blog hop · tack

Hand Gallop Blog Hop: Every Day Tack Setup

I am a creature of habit, and prefer to have minimal changes to my routine. It’s a big deal when I even swap bits. I honestly can’t remember the last time I bought a new saddle pad – 3 years? 4?
Nor do I really know/remember what type of bridle and saddle I ride in? I know the brand, but not the exact model. #sorrynotsorry.
Anyway.
Everyday dressage outfit.
Albion dressage saddle. I don’t know which one. I bought it used at Pelham Saddlery about 5 years ago. I adore it. It fits me, it fits him, it is comfy and puts me in the right place. It has a small tear on the seat that was well-repaired. I paid $1,200 for it. Bargain. On the saddle itself: basic leathers, basic fillis irons.
Roma fleece half-pad. My most recent purchase, actually, to help cushion his ever-changing back.
Basic dressage saddle pad. I own 3; the one on him in this photo is the only one I bought new. The other was a $5 used tack store find, the other was a hand-me-down that I got the same year I got Tristan. Go ahead, cringe away.

Smartpak dressage girth. This one, the basic one. It’s been a workhorse for as long as I’ve owned the saddle.

Stubben dressage bridle; padded, straightforward noseband. It has a flash attachment, but I don’t really use the flash. (I have in the past, but not right now.) I like it. I bought it on sale at Equine Affaire years ago, for around $150, which was something like 75% off. It is not buttery soft but it is solid and quality. It has tooth marks on the noseband from an asshole barn dog four barns ago. Sigh. In the bit: loose ring French link with lozenge.

Not a great picture, sorry, but jumping attire.
Things that are the same: saddle pads, leathers, irons.
Passier PS Baum all purpose saddle. My baby. My first and only saddle for years. Bought for $300 from a barnmate, 30 years old when I bought it. Total workhorse. Hard as a rock. No knee or thigh roll to speak off. Slippery. Totally out of style. I adore it.
Basic girth. Dunno what type, but it’s nylon-y and elastic on one side. Basic fleece girth cover, because I am picky about fleece on girths and it classes up the cheapo girth a little.

Dover Circuit Figure 8 Bridle. On clearance, $60. Yep. I really like it, actually, except it’s a little small for Tristan’s face so the figure 8 straps are always on their top holes.

Dover galloping boots. He only wears these for XC, because if he rubs a rail I want it to sting. I am a bad mom.

Dover bell boots. Ditto the above.

fashion · helmets · shopping · smartpak

Helmet Shopping: The Results

Spoiler alert! I came home from my trip to Boston last week (and of course a stop by Smartpak), walked in the door, and announced to my fiance that I had found the sexiest piece of riding gear I have ever bought.

(He said, “I don’t even know what it is and that is blatantly false.” Luckily I found a boy who appreciates breeches…)

ANYWAY.

Thank you all SO much for your thoughtful, eloquent, and incredibly useful feedback on my helmet search. I read every comment multiple times, made notes, scoured websites, and thought a lot. I was ready to tackle the new helmet fitting process.

First: a moment of silence for my old helmet, which did yeoman’s work and came the closest of any helmet I have ever owned to lasting until its expiration date, rather than being put out of commission by a fall.

It was an ugly thing, but it saw me through a lot.
On to the shopping!
I re-confirmed the following: Charles Owens do not fit my head, Troxels are ugly as sin, I still dislike the Tipperary style, and everything else was waaaaaay out of the price range. I did not even try on any Samshields or One Ks or all those other helmets the cool kids are wearing these days.
I narrowed it down to two helmets.
On the right, the IRH XR9. On the left, the IRH Elite Xtreme. Helmet names are getting as dumb as car names, seriously.
I wanted badly to like the XR9. It fit pretty darn well, actually. I just wasn’t quiiiiiite sold on it, and since I was there in front of a wall o’helmets, and had an awesome Smartpak salesperson helping me out and talking through options with me, I put on the Elite Xtreme. And little angels sang in a choir.
The trick, as it turned out, was that the Xtreme came in a “long oval” size, which means that my head is even weirder sized than I expected. I put it on and it fit like a glove, and it settled down onto my head and I loved it. And then I looked at the price tag, and I wanted to cry, but I looked at myself in the mirror, and felt the helmet wrap around my head, and sighed. 
The salesperson offered to get the black version of what I was wearing but you know what?  That silver is awesome. It looks like a million bucks. It’s not a show helmet – I have a wonderful velvet show helmet – and we don’t even show anyway. 
soooooooooo sexy
Spending way more than I planned on my helmet did not stop me from swinging through the clearance section, which was filled with the usual tempting array. I escaped with this jacket (minus the Smartpak logo) for $25, and the Back on Track glove liners for $12.50, because ’tis the season for winter stuff on deep clearance.
I’ve now ridden in the helmet about a half dozen times and I loooooooove it. It’s a little snug until the back harness softens and the lining breaks down a bit, but it turns heads, and I get a happy thrill from putting it on. It doesn’t budge while I’m riding, and best of all, I actually look almost good for once.
post-ride the other day
In conclusion: way more $$$ than I anticipated, but WHOOOO for sexy new helmets!
blog roundup

Weekly Blog Roundup

A few blog posts from the weekly roundup.

GoFundMe for Lauren from Fly On Over
I’m sure if you’re reading horse blogs you’ve heard about Lauren’s unimaginable heartbreak. I read her post just after it was published, while I was having breakfast with my maid of honor, about to meet my bridesmaids to pick out their dresses. Life is so odd, the way these things are juxtaposed and jumbled up.

Please consider visiting Tracy’s page to help support Lauren.

It’s official, Skeeter’s Mine from Wilson’s Wild Ones
Hooray for mustangs finding their forever homes. 🙂 If you didn’t know anything about the BLM adoption process, this is a good read.

So What Happens at a Paso Fino Show? from Tucker the Wunderkind
Totally different world than the one I’m used to – photos, explanations, utterly fascinating.

Question to Readers: Falling from Viva Carlos
Having recently fallen off myself, this was interesting to read. Make sure you check out the comments.

Yosemite Part 2 from DIY Horse Ownership
Uggghhhhhhh the jealousy, it burns. Go read this, and then read all the others in the series. Gorgeous photos, the trip of a lifetime.

25 things to know before your first 25 mile LD ride from Boots and Saddles
I’ve never ridden a 25 mile LD, but I’ve crewed and staffed my fair share, and these are great suggestions, many of them not obvious.

700 Posts from All In
Fun contest – definitely check it out!