I bought my truck and trailer in the spring of 2008. I had saved up money, and I was expecting to head off to grad school in the fall. Possibly anywhere in the whole country! I scoured Craigslist and all the classified ads I could find, and I found an older, serviceable truck and trailer that I loved. The idea was to put my own belongings in the truck, and Tristan’s in the trailer, and away we’d go! It didn’t happen quite like that.
I loved being a person with a rig, that tantalizing possibility. I loved having the extra storage space in my trailer.
I’ll be honest: I hated driving it. Hitching up the trailer and then loading my horse in sent every single anxiety demon in my brain into coke-fueled overdrive.
I am a great hauler. I am cautious, steady, smart, and I can back that entire rig anywhere. I am prepared and experienced. But I still spent every trailer hauling drive white-knuckled and nauseated. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I am insanely jealous of people who just hitch up and go. It seems so free.
So I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with my rig. It was such an incredibly useful thing to own. Such freedom and so many interesting things were possible!
However, the combination of my life, my schedule, my finances, and my aversion to hauling all mean that I haul out only once or twice a year. I know there are lots of you who would go somewhere every weekend. I wish I were like you, but I have to accept that I’m not.
Last night, I brought up a tupperware of Tristan’s winter blankets for storage. I opened the door, looked in the trailer, tossed in the tupperware, and had a moment of blinding realization. It was time. After two or three years of hemming and hawing, I was ready. I felt it in my gut. I am desperately sad about it, but I also have no doubts at all.
So, I have sent out some emails this morning. Over the weekend it’ll go on Craigslist. It’s time. I’ll set aside the money I sell it for (I’m not looking for a lot anyway) as seed money for the future, and go back to hitching rides for the few times I head out.