helmets

Repost: #mindyourmelon, and don’t be a fucking idiot

I wrote this for last year’s National Helmet Awareness Day, and after getting into a fight with a person of astonishing idiocy on Facebook (I know, I know, don’t feed the trolls), I dug it up and thought I’d repost it.

I believe that if you are not wearing a helmet you are an idiot. Pure and simple. I’m sure you have many other fine qualities. But at some level, you are a fucking idiot. If you fall off, you will cause misery and grief to your friends and family; incur thousands, perhaps millions, of dollars worth of medical bills, and ruin your life. I do not say these things lightly.

Go ahead, gauge the impact: take everything in your life, and erase it. Now put yourself in a hospital bed. For months. Perhaps years. Perhaps even underground. How is that trade-off worth a few seconds of inconvenience? IT’S NOT.

If you post a picture of yourself on horseback without a helmet, I am judging you. I believe you to be a fucking idiot. It’s that simple.

Here’s my helmet story. About six years ago, Tristan and I had a bad ride at a home show. The next day, I took him back out to the arena where he’d lost his marbles, and I rode him for an hour and a half through bucking, bolting, sourness, crankiness: you name it. He was an utter shit for 80 minutes straight.

Finally, dripping sweat, he gave up. He walked calmly on a loose rein, and was content with the world. I was proud of him: as soon as he cooled out, he was going to get a few days off.

Then several things happened very quickly. The herd of cows across the street startled at something. Tristan’s head shot up to look at them, and at that moment he stepped in or on something. He stumbled. He went down, hard, tired from his exertions of the last hour plus.

Tristan went down onto his knees, and I was wholly unprepared. I shot forward and slid straight down his neck on my stomach. My head hit the ground, and I had a split second’s thought that my stomach was trapping his head on the ground. I rolled over my shoulder and onto my back, and then I blacked out.

Honestly, I don’t remember anything after glancing over to see the cows startling, save for that brief, dizzying sensation of my stomach pressing against my horse’s head on the ground. I don’t know how long I was blacked out for, whether I was actually unconscious or simply have no memory of lying there dazed.

It didn’t seem like a bad fall at the time – probably because of that memory loss, which I hadn’t quite realized yet. I just assumed it had happened very quickly.

So I got back on. Yep. I rode for another 15 minutes, at a walk, around the same field. Then we went into the barn.

Here’s where my memory is crystal clear. I took off my helmet, and put it down on a bench. Only I didn’t. I kept missing. I could not for the life of me set it on the bench: three, four times I missed, and then I finally put it on the bench and looked at it.

I had landed on my right temple, and that corner of the helmet, right where the visor met the rest of the helmet, was crushed in. The visor had snapped half off. The foam underneath the plastic shell was compacted, and I could pop the plastic shell in and out over the spot with ease.

It was like confronted with that reality everything else started to sink in. A dull ache started through my head, and my occiptal lobe, around my eye, started to throb. I got dizzy. I got tired. I felt thick and woolly headed. I put Tristan away and called my mother, an emergency room nurse, and talked to her on the way home (yes, stupid again) to keep me awake, then called another friend when I got home.

I was really, really lucky. If I’d fallen slightly differently, I could have broken my neck. I could have smashed several bones in my face. I could have fallen with much more impact and really truly jostled my brain.

I had about two weeks of headaches, off and on. The initial dizziness and thickness faded after a day or two. I sported a ghost of a black eye around my right eye for a few days.

The much large problem turned out to be my lower back, which had compressed and nearly slipped two vertebrae with the impact. I spent two years in PT, from chiropractic work to massage. It’s still not right, and it probably never will be, though it is vastly better than it could be because of that early attention.

If I hadn’t been wearing that helmet? I would be dead, or severely injured. My life would be totally different. I have no doubts about that.

So, don’t be a fucking idiot. Wear your helmet.

fashion · helmets · shopping · smartpak

Helmet Shopping: The Results

Spoiler alert! I came home from my trip to Boston last week (and of course a stop by Smartpak), walked in the door, and announced to my fiance that I had found the sexiest piece of riding gear I have ever bought.

(He said, “I don’t even know what it is and that is blatantly false.” Luckily I found a boy who appreciates breeches…)

ANYWAY.

Thank you all SO much for your thoughtful, eloquent, and incredibly useful feedback on my helmet search. I read every comment multiple times, made notes, scoured websites, and thought a lot. I was ready to tackle the new helmet fitting process.

First: a moment of silence for my old helmet, which did yeoman’s work and came the closest of any helmet I have ever owned to lasting until its expiration date, rather than being put out of commission by a fall.

It was an ugly thing, but it saw me through a lot.
On to the shopping!
I re-confirmed the following: Charles Owens do not fit my head, Troxels are ugly as sin, I still dislike the Tipperary style, and everything else was waaaaaay out of the price range. I did not even try on any Samshields or One Ks or all those other helmets the cool kids are wearing these days.
I narrowed it down to two helmets.
On the right, the IRH XR9. On the left, the IRH Elite Xtreme. Helmet names are getting as dumb as car names, seriously.
I wanted badly to like the XR9. It fit pretty darn well, actually. I just wasn’t quiiiiiite sold on it, and since I was there in front of a wall o’helmets, and had an awesome Smartpak salesperson helping me out and talking through options with me, I put on the Elite Xtreme. And little angels sang in a choir.
The trick, as it turned out, was that the Xtreme came in a “long oval” size, which means that my head is even weirder sized than I expected. I put it on and it fit like a glove, and it settled down onto my head and I loved it. And then I looked at the price tag, and I wanted to cry, but I looked at myself in the mirror, and felt the helmet wrap around my head, and sighed. 
The salesperson offered to get the black version of what I was wearing but you know what?  That silver is awesome. It looks like a million bucks. It’s not a show helmet – I have a wonderful velvet show helmet – and we don’t even show anyway. 
soooooooooo sexy
Spending way more than I planned on my helmet did not stop me from swinging through the clearance section, which was filled with the usual tempting array. I escaped with this jacket (minus the Smartpak logo) for $25, and the Back on Track glove liners for $12.50, because ’tis the season for winter stuff on deep clearance.
I’ve now ridden in the helmet about a half dozen times and I loooooooove it. It’s a little snug until the back harness softens and the lining breaks down a bit, but it turns heads, and I get a happy thrill from putting it on. It doesn’t budge while I’m riding, and best of all, I actually look almost good for once.
post-ride the other day
In conclusion: way more $$$ than I anticipated, but WHOOOO for sexy new helmets!
fashion · helmets

What helmet should I buy?

So, I fell off my horse. I fell mostly onto my hip and back, but in the rolling followup I smacked the back of my head against the ground, too.

It was a relatively minor fall – helmet didn’t crack, no real headache, anything like that.

The helmet was already nearing the end of its useful life, however – the sticker inside said it was manufactured in November 2011 – and I am a firm subscriber to the rule of replacing your helmet whenever it gets hit.

In the past, I’ve mailed the helmet back to the company, used a backup (usually my show helmet), and then paid the nominal fee to replace it through the company. I’ve done this at least three or four times with IRH, and been very happy with that process. (Did you know you can and should do that? It’s an important part of product research so that we can make helmets better and safer.)

After a marathon day spent trying on every single helmet at Dover Saddlery about 8 years ago, I’ve been loyal to one particular helmet: the IRH Air-Lite Dura Soft Touch.

It is not the most attractive helmet on the market, but it has many other virtues. It is light, vented, tough, and it fits my head perfectly. I’ve been really, really happy with it. As I said, this is at least my fifth one in a row.
But. You knew there was a but coming, right?
I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to ride in something a bit nicer, and a bit more stylish. The Air-Lite gives me the most incredible bubble head, and I’m kind of sick of it.
So this is where you come in, internet: what helmets should I try on when I head down to Smartpak next week?
Things to keep in mind:
– $200 max budget (who the fuck are these people who pay $1,000 for a goddamn helmet?!)
– oval-shaped head
– I hate the Tipperaries; I’m looking for traditional styling, black.
A quick internet browse leads me to believe I should be looking at Charles Owens and IRHs. I’ll try on a wide range at Smartpak, see what they have in clearance, and if I don’t love what they have there I can hit up a large Dover Saddlery nearby as well.
Would love any and all suggestions!
helmets

#mindyourmelon – Happy National Helmet Awareness Day!

L. Williams at Viva Carlos recently asked about unpopular opinions, and I’m working on a post about that, but in the meantime here’s one that is unpopular in certain circles.

I believe that if you are not wearing a helmet you are an idiot. Pure and simple. I’m sure you have many other fine qualities. But at some level, you are a fucking idiot. If you fall off, you will cause misery and grief to your friends and family; incur thousands, perhaps millions, of dollars worth of medical bills, and ruin your life. I do not say these things lightly.

Go ahead, gauge the impact: take everything in your life, and erase it. Now put yourself in a hospital bed. For months. Perhaps years. Perhaps even underground. How is that trade-off worth a few seconds of inconvenience? IT’S NOT.

If you post a picture of yourself on horseback without a helmet, I am judging you. I believe you to be a fucking idiot. It’s that simple.

Here’s my helmet story. About six years ago, Tristan and I had a bad ride at a home show. The next day, I took him back out to the arena where he’d lost his marbles, and I rode him for an hour and a half through bucking, bolting, sourness, crankiness: you name it. He was an utter shit for 80 minutes straight.

Finally, dripping sweat, he gave up. He walked calmly on a loose rein, and was content with the world. I was proud of him: as soon as he cooled out, he was going to get a few days off.

Then several things happened very quickly. The herd of cows across the street startled at something. Tristan’s head shot up to look at them, and at that moment he stepped in or on something. He stumbled. He went down, hard, tired from his exertions of the last hour plus.

Tristan went down onto his knees, and I was wholly unprepared. I shot forward and slid straight down his neck on my stomach. My head hit the ground, and I had a split second’s thought that my stomach was trapping his head on the ground. I rolled over my shoulder and onto my back, and then I blacked out.

Honestly, I don’t remember anything after glancing over to see the cows startling, save for that brief, dizzying sensation of my stomach pressing against my horse’s head on the ground. I don’t know how long I was blacked out for, or whether I was actually unconscious or simply have no memory of lying there dazed.

It didn’t seem like a bad fall at the time – probably because of that memory loss, which I hadn’t quite realized yet. I just assumed it had happened very quickly.

So I got back on. Yep. I rode for another 15 minutes, at a walk, around the same field. Then we went into the barn.

Here’s where my memory is crystal clear. I took off my helmet, and put it down on a bench. Only I didn’t. I kept missing. I could not for the life of me set it on the bench: three, four times I missed, and then I finally put it on the bench and looked at it.

I had landed on my right temple, and that corner of the helmet, right where the visor met the rest of the helmet, was crushed in. The visor had snapped half off. The foam underneath the plastic shell was compacted, and I could pop the plastic shell in and out over the spot with ease.

It was like confronted with that reality everything else started to sink in. A dull ache started through my head, and my occiptal lobe, around my eye, started to throb. I got dizzy. I got tired. I felt thick and woolly headed. I put Tristan away and called my mother, an emergency room nurse, and talked to her on the way home (yes, stupid again) to keep me awake, then called another friend when I got home.

I was really, really lucky. If I’d fallen slightly differently, I could have broken my neck. I could have smashed several bones in my face. I could have fallen with much more impact and really truly jostled my brain.

I had about two weeks of headaches, off and on. The initial dizziness and thickness faded after a day or two. I sported a ghost of a black eye around my right eye for a few days.

The much large problem turned out to be my lower back, which had compressed and nearly slipped two vertebrae with the impact. I spent two years in PT, from chiropractic work to massage. It’s still not right, and it probably never will be, though it is vastly better than it could be because of that early attention.

If I hadn’t been wearing that helmet? I would be dead, or severely injured. My life would be totally different. I have no doubts about that.

So, don’t be a fucking idiot. Wear your helmet.