Clearly, I have won the game.

From Viva Carlos, of course!

1. What is your biggest source of caffeine that gets you through the day? (drink, not just brand)
Tea, with a little bit of sugar. If I’m drinking coffee something has gone seriously awry. I’ll usually drink 2-3 cups of strong black tea in a day. If it’s a coffee day: iced coffee, mocha, cream, sugar. I really want to be drinking melted coffee ice cream.

I’m calling it. I’m finally giving up on Smartpak’s Pipers.

It turns out that even though I am more or less constantly blogging things in my head, I actually have to sit down and type them out for them to appear in the real world?! Blergh.

Honestly: I am pretty profoundly depressed about the state of the world right now.

I an typically an NPR junkie, because I appreciate thoughtful conversation and being informed.

I can’t listen right now. I can’t. It’s a constant reminder that we are so terrifyingly, horribly close to a society that places no value on human life if it doesn’t have a white penis.

I am particularly bone-deep terrified of losing my own bodily autonomy, ie the overturn of Roe v Wade that will happen if the balance on the Supreme Court shifts. I’ll go from being a human being with agency and a brain and a contribution to the world to nothing more than a walking uterus.

Despite living in Vermont, I typically fall middle-to-right on the political spectrum, but I can’t get over how far out of whack things are with basic principles of dignity and kindness.

Horses aren’t helping. At any rate, Tristan is…not great. Not bad either! But he’s stiff, and unwilling, and rides are 75% loosening up with a little bit of work.

On top of that, I’m having what I think must be a gout flare-up in my left hip. For two weeks, it hurt constantly, a deep burning agony in the joint. Then I realized it was probably gout, and started taking my drugs. Now it’s only painful when I am using it in certain ways…like trying to get Tristan off my left leg. Or this morning, when I got into my car and misjudged the distance slightly and caught my ankle on the door frame. OW.

On top of that, the show we were prepping for on August 7 was mysteriously canceled. Our next planned show is September 3, which is not far away, but is not the immediate “oh shit we’re going to embarrass ourselves” push that August 7 was.

Mostly, I’m reading a lot. Gardening. Watching various DC television properties (ok, I’m bingeing on Flash and Arrow). Playing Pokemon Go. Working on the house some. Planning travel. Normal stuff I guess but when momentum stops or I catch the news I descend into a panic attack again. Sigh.

Anyway: carry on! Just whingeing here. Probably it will all turn out fine, but it sure doesn’t feel like it right now.

Last night, I arrived at the barn just before the storm broke, with the intention of seeing where Tristan’s dressage was. We’ve just committed to another show on August 7 and since our last show we’ve been doing a lot more wandering around fields than schooling.

So I got on, and (I admit it) turned on Pokemon Go to log my steps because I have eggs to hatch, and committed to a long, slow exploration kind of ride.

It was kind of boring. But it was also kind of magical. The rain was coming down hard, and the beautiful white noise of water on a barn roof blanketed everything. I concentrated hard on my position – sitting up, opening my hips, keeping my hands steady and my elbows loose and following. I focused on setting simple directives for Tristan and quietly but firmly holding him to them.

Conclusion: it’s all in there, but he’s lost some condition. I think that’s the hardest part of everyday Cushings management for me. He’s never been an easy horse to keep in condition, but as soon as he’s out of work, muscle just melts off him. It’s demoralizing.

He was responding, seeing the bit, stretching, coming into the bridle – but he was heavy, and getting him lighter was more of a fight than I wanted to pick last night. So I didn’t. I let him tell me what ride he needed, and after 25 minutes we had a lovely energized trot on the bit, our canter transitions were straight and prompt, and I called it quits.

Here’s a current conformation so you can see what I mean by muscle vanishing. This is after 2 weeks off + lighter schedule for 2 more weeks. His back makes me sad.

More content later, but, sigh.

Finally put one of our favorite wedding gifts to good use last night!

I am still here, still alive, and after three weeks of work basically 24/7 – tonight I am going to ride my horse!

Like, so much work that after the show I hauled everything out of my car and dumped it on my dining room table and it literally has not moved an inch since then. None of it. The ONLY thing I did was oil my saddle what with the hurricane during the show and all.

Decisions coming up: I need to commit to one of two schooling shows in July & August because I said I would ride on a team with my barn and I need to go three total shows to do that. Two barn shows + one off property show. So. Hm. Which one?

I’d love – LOVE – to do both, but the shipping is way out of my budget.

Anyway: nothing of real substance here. Just to let you know that I’m still alive. I assume Tristan is too or someone would’ve told me.

I’m deep into my busiest work period of a two year cycle, and so I’ve given Tristan this week, and probably next week, off. He worked his ass off for me for the three weeks previous to the show, and in a hundred little ways I could tell that he is no longer as tolerant of that kind of ramping up of work as he used to be. So he gets some well-deserved time to be a horse. Because two Training tests at a schooling show is basically his equivalent of a long format four star.

In the meantime, I’m taking care of loads of little domestic things and indulging in comfort activities. Eating brownies and taking the intern out for margaritas are among my less productive of those.

More productive is comfort reading. And when I need comfort reading, I turn to one author: Mercedes Lackey.

Now, I’m not going to claim Lackey is an especially gifted author. She has a knack for worldbuilding, a couple of clever ideas, and her writing output is frankly inhuman. That’s…kind of it. Which means that every time I am in need of comfort reading there are a half dozen new books of hers to indulge in. I think of her as my literary equivalent to boxed mac’n’cheese. Not really good for you, not tolerable as a consistent diet, but when I am need of an hour of sheer indulgence, I will eat an entire box.

Lackey’s main world is Valdemar, in which there are these divine beings called Companions, who take the form of pure white horses with blue eyes. Companions choose special people to be Heralds, and then form a quasi-military, quasi-judicial corps that serves the crown.

So: magical telepathic white horses who choose the very best, most worthy people and then bond with them for life?

CHECK AND CHECK.

Which brings me to my Friday question. Are you drawn to fantasy horses? Horses are a feature of almost every single book or movie with an even slightly magical or out of the ordinary bent. Sometimes they’re the core driving force behind the plot, as they are in Valdemar. Sometimes they’re just ancillary characters.

Are there any that stick out to you? Any of your favorites? Or do fantasy horses that fly, talk, perform magic, or otherwise exceed the capacity of normal horses not interest you?