colic · stupid human tricks

The Craziest Barn I Ever Boarded At

Somewhat inspired by Carly’s recent post at Poor Woman Showing.

When I was relatively new to horse ownership, I had to move from one state to another for work. I did a lot of research online, and made a series of onsite visits to find a new boarding barn. The one I eventually chose was, on paper and via introduction, a great fit: right on a huge state park with connection to miles of riding trails, multiple riding rings, one of the biggest indoors I’d ever seen, close to where I’d be living, big enough to be open all the time, instructors I knew of (think local BNRs) and barn staff who said all the right things.

So, I moved Tristan down. Within two weeks, I had more than a vague sense of unease and started looking for another barn, but only casually. Everything was still so great on paper! All of the other barns I looked at didn’t work: the great ones were full, and some that came highly recommended were really really not the right fit – see also, the trainer who spent the entire tour chain smoking and ground his cigarettes out on the aisle floor. NOPE.

I continued at this barn, taking lots of long wonderful trail rides, and the promised instructors never materialized. The tack room was so disorganized I actually moved my things to a back corner of the hay loft, and STILL occasionally had to hunt down missing things. There were 45+ stalls in the barn, and they were all full, mostly with rank lesson horses and lease horses attached to families who had no idea what they were doing. One lease horse was quarantined outside because – I shit you not – it had Cushings.

Turnout was huge, and turnout time was ample, except it was in large herds with zero attempt made at supervision. Horses were turned out and brought back in by the expedience of creating a chute and then opening stall doors. Imagine, if you will, 40 horses galloping up a hill and into the barn, and then finding their own stalls. Now imagine that the entire barn is poured concrete. Imagine two, or three, horses going into a stall to steal another horse’s hay, all of this supervised by 14 year old working students.

My search for a new barn intensified, but still nothing ideal came up – I was still stuck on the idea of staying relatively close to home, and not driving an incredible amount.

Then one day I stopped by the barn, and with one glance in Tristan’s stall knew something was very badly wrong. He was standing, splay-legged, with his head nearly to the ground in a far corner, very still. His hay was untouched. Not only that, but his evening grain had been poured on top of his morning grain, which he hadn’t touched. His water buckets were bone dry.

I had my cell phone out to call a vet within seconds. He spent the next four days touch-and-go with one of the worst colics I’ve ever seen to this day. I slept in a camp chair in front of his stall 24/7, save for a few brief absences to shower, when my mother stayed with him instead. He started colicking on a Monday; by Thursday, he was well enough to get on a trailer, and we literally loaded under cover of darkness. I gave my notice after he was on the trailer, and forfeited my deposit.

The next barn was not ideal, but it was safe, and well-kept. (If anything, the people there were way over-neurotic; they flew a farrier in from Tennessee and had a vet out to do x-rays of every single foot every single time every horse was shod. Not even exaggerating.) He had his share of health problems there, but they were all recognized, treated, and non-issues.

A few months later, my former barn was in the news because the ex-husband of the BO’s daughter drove up to the barn on a Saturday afternoon and rampaged through it, screaming and yelling. He finally cornered the BO’s daughter and her young child in the barn apartment (where said daughter was living at the time) and pulled a gun on her. He pulled the trigger multiple times, but it jammed. The police arrived before he could un-jam it, thankfully.

And thus ends the story of the craziest barn I’ve ever boarded at.

can i go back to bed now? · stupid human tricks

Finding the Time

I have all the drive right now, and none of the time.

Last week, I was traveling for work from Thursday through Saturday. I rode Sunday and Monday.

I had plans to ride last night, Tuesday, but a cousin called and said he was in town and we should meet for dinner. I love this cousin dearly, and he lives two states away, so any chance to see him was one I was going to take – but that doesn’t make me any less cranky that I lost a barn night.

I compensated by sneaking in to the laundromat near closing and washing the last of Tristan’s sheets, then waterproofing it on our side porch in the pitch black.

Tonight, I have hopes that I can sneak out between the end of work and my evening plans. Tomorrow, the same. At the most, I’ll have an hour, total, to spend at the barn, which really means ~35 minutes to ride.

Does anyone else struggle with finding the time? I guess I just don’t have the motivation to get up at 5am and go ride before work, and if I have evening plans – work, or otherwise – I can’t find the motivation to leave my house at 8pm to get to the barn. I work hard during the day and am exhausted by 9pm. Now that it’s dark at 5pm, that problem is exacerbated.

dressage · longeing · stupid human tricks

Why Blogs Are Useful

I woke up Saturday morning thinking about the way Tristan wobbled downhill on Friday night. I didn’t like it. I kept mulling it over and over again, remembering the feel of it. I remembered that he felt okay, strong and fresh even, on the flat and on gentle inclines.

Then I was skimming back over my blog and I re-read my Thursday night post about longeing on the circle of death, and a light bulb went off.

I overworked him a bit on Thursday. All those poles worked his hocks and his stifles and gaskins, and he was too sore/tired to balance himself properly going downhill. The work we did in the dressage ring – steady, rhythmic, workmanlike but not spectacular – was just what he needed to stretch through there.

Ever feel like you’re constantly having revelations just a little bit too late to actually help? Yeah. I wish I’d given him a little bute Thursday night. Still, I’m glad to have an explanation rather than worrying. I was actually flirting with the idea of having the vet out to do a lameness eval.

stupid human tricks

How Not To Prepare For Off Property Schooling

I have worked past midnight every single day this week. I have not ridden my horse since Tuesday, when he bolted on me. For those keeping track at home (though why would you…?), that means he has been ridden once in the last 10 days.

I am still working as I’m writing this, at 9pm on Friday night. I have a massive, all-day work thing on Saturday that I’m in charge of, hence why I’m queuing this.

Jury’s out on whether I’ll get saddle time on Saturday night; it would mean bringing puppy to the barn and leaving her in my shiny new car while I prep the trailer and THEN ride. Not the best of my options.

We leave at 7am on Sunday for the Fall Foliage Ride. Best prep ever!

STAY TUNED. This could get exciting.

stupid human tricks

Hanging in There

I haven’t seen Tristan since Monday and have basically worked 24/7 since then. That trend will continue through Saturday night, when I’ll finish my last prep for the GMHA Fall Foliage Ride. No exercise for a week in crisp fall temperatures leading up to his first time off-property in 2 years? WHY NOT, IT’LL BE FUN!
I am taking consolation in this graphic, posted by the Eye on the Sky weather guys, which promises me beautiful scenery, at least.

stupid human tricks

On Worry

I am a fretful, anxious person. Most of the time, I know the twists and turns of my own brain well enough to either quiet it or use it to my advantage.

I haven’t had the easiest time recently, with Tristan’s Cushings diagnosis and his bout of colic. I’m second-guessing every decision I make. I’m beating myself up for every extra step I don’t take. I’m staying up late reading, trying to absorb more and more information, trying to make the best decisions. It doesn’t help that my day job is at fever pitch right now.

Last night, I got to the barn and tacked up. He’d had three days off; Saturday and Sunday I was out of town, and Monday we just did trailer loading because I’d overscheduled myself on my day off. My plans were to mix in some hill work with some long and low.

Mostly, I carried them out quite nicely. We walked for a little while, then trotted up one big hill. We headed back down to the indoor and did a couple of laps of a nice stretchy trot. We did a few short bursts of canter, mostly to rev him up and stretch him out rather than to really work on the canter. He seemed to have a little more pep; he certainly started off walking with some nice swing through his back end.

We headed back out to the fields for a little bit more of a walk, and on a whim I decided to trot one last steep-ish hill. He’s trotted it more times than I can count, and cantered it a few times. A few strides into the trot up, he LOST IT. Grabbed the bit, bolted in that hard, sudden, rush of energy that horses can muster, let off a few bucks. I felt curiously calm and collected during it and never felt in danger of falling off. Mostly I gave a few hard half-halts and brought him back before he jumped the ditch and went into the road. (Which was deserted at this time of night; I wasn’t concerned about traffic, more about the hard packed dirt on his legs.) He gave a little half-rear at my final half-halt, and then stopped and blew out. Picking his front feet up in that way was really uncharacteristic of him.

The only thing I can think is that he got stung by something. It’s either that or his total 1/2Q per day of alfalfa pellets has warped his brain after only 4 days – but he wasn’t spooky at all during the ride, quite workmanlike. It was a 10 second blip in an otherwise nice and productive ride, and I dropped the reins and walked him for another 10 minutes just to make sure he had returned to normal. I still worried the rest of the night – if it had been an insect bite, was he ok from it? What if it was the alfalfa? How would I decide what too much is? What will he be like at GMHA?

I kept worrying, even after I got home and opened my computer again to work. I’m still mildly worried today. I wonder what it’s like to just ride your horse and be done with it, to feel entirely confident in the decisions you’ve made with your horse and go home settled.

stupid human tricks

Sleeping in on a Saturday Morning; Or, Here, Have a Guilt Trip!

I left work last night with a splitting headache and decided on the way that if I got there before they had grained, I would longe Tris. If not, I would groom and go home.

Well, I got there just after he’d been tossed his grain, so I fussed over him, picked out his stall, added more shavings, tidied up the tack trunk, and headed home. Before I left, I put a note on the board to ask that his grain be held in the morning. I had plans to get to the barn around 7am and take him out for a few miles of hacking.

Then I woke up this morning at 8:30 am with barely enough time to shower, eat breakfast, and get to work. Then I swore a LOT. Then I texted the working student to tell her to just feed my poor horse his breakfast and apologize to him.

Then I got to work and couldn’t shake the niggling feelings of guilt and self-loathing, so I called the barn juuuuuust to make sure. Turned out that WS hadn’t gotten my text message, and they’d held his grain but turned him out. He’ll get his grain when he comes in at lunch.

I am the WORST horse mom EVER. Poor Tris. 😦 Now I get not only heaps of guilt for making him hungry at breakfast, I get the worry that he did not get his pergolide or his antihistamines before turnout. UGH.

blog hop · clothing · stupid human tricks

Blog Hop: Horse Clothes

I am so very far behind in this blog hop that I totally missed the official code for it, but I was folding laundry the other day and thought “self, you have a really embarrassing number of horse-related shirts, and you need to share that with the internet.”

Aside: does anyone else mentally separate clothes into work clothes, barn clothes, civilian clothes? I think I wear non-work, non-barn clothes mayyyybe once a week. Possibly I need a life.

Fancy technical shirts for riding on days when I need to dress up. On the left, from the Bromont CCI3*, which I’ve blogged about before here; on the right, from my old barn.

Get it? I ride a mustang? There are a surprisingly number of mustang-the-car themed shirts and other gimmicky things that I feel tempted to own.

The two left I got at an Equine Affaire; the right suits my mood sometimes…

One of my all-time favorites, a gift from a dear friend, and a discontinued design on Threadless. The ponies have, from left to right, a stick of dynamite and a six shooter on their butts.

Remember when Life is Good made equestrian t-shirts? This is still a favorite of mine. I deeply regret not getting the eventing & dressage ones when they still made them. (If you can’t read, it says “Hold Your Horses” and the little stick figure is giving the horse a hug.)

Sorry this picture came out so poorly, but: Rolex! I picked this up for, no joke, $12 at the clearance tent on the way out after showjumping. It’s a men’s small, and has only fairly recently shrunk with washing to look not ridiculous on me. It was the only t-shirt I saw all that weekend in my colors (gray & black) and I had to have it.

Volunteering t-shirts! Left and right are Vermont Dressage Days from different years (so in love with the new one I got this year, on the right!). Center is King Oak; for all the many times I’ve volunteered for them I usually take pens. This is the only t-shirt I ever took.

College stuff. I went to college in Vermont. T-shirts would not cut it. LL Bean quarter zip fleece on the left, LL bean insulated jacket on the right. These are both approaching 12 years old and I wear them constantly and I am probably going to have a small breakdown when they finally wear out. I should call up my old coach and have her put me on the next order…
I think I am missing one of the other My Little Pony t-shirts, but you get the idea. 

stupid human tricks

We interrupt this blog…

…for me to flail around with a nasty summer cold.

I have mostly had energy only to stay on top of real-life commitments, and even with that, spent a day home sick flopped on the couch with the puppy watching Dead Poets Society.

I have things to write about, but they will have to wait. Maybe tonight.

conditioning · falling off · stupid human tricks

Opposite Day, or That Time My Lazy Pony Bucked Me Off

I honestly can’t remember the last time I came off my horse, you guys. It’s been at least two, maybe three years. Moral of the story: I was due.

I headed out later in the evening, after trading off the puppy and cleaning around the house, tacked up in his jump saddle and figure-8 bridle, and set in for some conditioning & hills work.

Conditioning has proven ever so slightly tricky because on the farm I have too much of a good thing: hills! We’re going up or down as soon as we set foot out the front door. It’s actually harder to find good long straightaways for road hacking. I can’t modify the difficulty level, really.

Last night I tried out a bit of a system that I’d been pondering in my head: namely, circling all the upper paddocks at various gaits. So we started walking around the entire area, about a mile and a half. Then we trotted up the hayfield hill, then walked back down and around the furthest paddocks.

We repeated that for two trot sets, one canter set, and another trot set. The first trot set was ugly; the second perked up halfway through; then after that it was smooth sailing: he was stretching into contact, pushing from behind, and not quitting at the top of the hill.

Red outline is the first walk set we did, purple is the hayfield hill, about a half mile steady rise. The entire red outline is some kind of hill – the trailers near the upper right part of this image are the highest elevation point in this image.

For the last set, we trotted up the bottom part of the rectangle, then turned and had an easy canter for about 1/3 of the way up. Then I bridged my reins and asked for some speed.

BOOM. He launched himself for about three strides in glee, then chucked his head down and let fly with two or three decent bucks. I was caught totally by surprise, and on the third buck found myself on his neck.

They weren’t running bucks, more like he had bolted, landed, thrown his head down, and bucked mostly in place. I had a split second’s realization that I was going down, and yelled “YOU LITTLE SHIT” at the top of my lungs. I landed on my side and my hip and rolled to my butt, still holding on to the reins, glaring up at him.

He looked so pleased and confused that I couldn’t stop laughing. I stood up, made sure he was steady, and got back on, and within a stride or two asked him for the gallop again.

YAHOOOOO for two or three strides, but this time I was ready and yanked his head back up and KICKED, and then he settled right in to a nice big power gallop the rest of the way up, with firm contact and a fistful of mane on my part. I had to stand up in the stirrups a bit to slow him down when we got to the top of the hill.

He was clearly sweaty and tired and very pleased with himself. I laughed the whole way back to the barn, and then turned him out into a gravel paddock to hang out and finish cooling off, bringing a bucket and sponge out instead of using the wash stall.

Best part: other than my hips & thighs from the two-point work I did, I am not the slightest bit sore from the fall. Whew!

He’ll get tonight off, then a dressage school Thursday, then road hack on Friday.