humor

If Horse Blog Posts Had Clickbait Titles

I can’t be the only person who is wildly, irrationally annoyed by clickbait titles, right? You know, the ones that one aunt/cousin/high school friend posts every 20 minutes? I see one on Facebook and I want to throw things across the room. They’re just so obnoxiously sensationalist.

So I’ve been trying to fight internet idiocy with humor, and over the last few weeks have played a little game with myself, trying to come up with horse blog posts titles a la Buzzfeed (or Upworthy or any of the other nausea-inducing fake news websites out there, hi yes, I’m a snob).

Anyway.

Here are a few I’ve come up with.

She Thought She Had Packed Everything for Her Show – You’ll Never Believe What She Forgot!
They Took A Long Spot – What Happened Next Will Take Your Breath Away!
6 New Half Pad Trends You Have to See to Believe!
3 Simple Steps to the Perfect Topline – Overnight!
Only ’90s Kids Will Understand: Do You Remember These Trends in Breeches?
You Won’t Believe These Galloping Boots Until You See Them in Action
This Shocking New Hunter Derby Jump Changes Everything
5 Examples of Mismatched Tack That Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity
This Is The Most Important Photo of a Horse Standing In Its Field You’ll See All Day

That’s all I’ve got for now. Any more from you all?

12 thoughts on “If Horse Blog Posts Had Clickbait Titles

  1. “Wait and see how this pushy horse show mom got her comeuppance!”
    “Help, I need 100 likes to save these sweet rescue horses!”
    “Quiz: Which supplement is best for my horse?” (*post sponsored by SmartPak)
    “My horse is so athletic and talented and sexy, so what’s his f*ing problem?”
    “This clinician will change your mind about everything!” (*post is 5,000 words long, no pictures)

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